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Newman loves high heels, so she continued wearing them even though they sometimes threw a wrench into things."We all know '6 feet' can be code for '5-foot-10' on dating profiles.I'm 5-foot-7, so I kept showing up and towering over my dates, which wasn't fun for me," she says. Nah, because that misrepresentation wasn't on her, and they made her feel confident. "If you're going to dinner, there needs to be enough material to have about a good hour and a half of conversation," says Newman. Prepare for awkward silences and escaping to the bathroom to send your friends a rushed "WTF do I do?! At first, Newman tried to determine what a guy wanted and conform to that.

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, out on January 12, Newman has been in just about every first-date situation imaginable, from meeting someone who drastically lied about his age to getting that tingly feeling that something magical was about to happen.

Here, she explains 16 different things she learned in the 10 years of dating it took before she met her partner, Dave, in February 2013.

This is technically something you do before the first date, but it can definitely inform how well it goes.

"I'm a size 16, so I was always nervous to represent myself as me," says Newman.

At first she'd included an admittedly awesome photo of herself on her online dating profile, but it wasn't 100 percent representative.

She realized that may have been a mistake when Date Nine looked her up and down then frowned, very clearly surprised by what he saw.

"We had a torturous three-hour dinner where he didn’t talk to me but kept ordering more food," she says. " is high on the list of date questions that double as minefields.

Of course it's smart to use attractive photos, but they're going to see you anyway. It's all too easy to work yourself up over crafting the perfect answer when really, being single isn't some terrible affliction in need of explanation.

It's everyone's default status, after all. "I stopped asking people why they were single and assumed it was for valid reasons," she says. She'd respond with, ' I was married for 10 years, and we separated for totally valid reasons that I'll tell you about when I know you better." Her dates usually respected that boundary.

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