I seem to run into this a lot and haven’t seen this addressed.
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Just today, I was on the phone with a client who was sharing the same experience with me: “ It wasn’t until she showed me one really GOOD email from a guy that she started to get it. But look at the emails you write back to the boring men.
He asked her a silly question and started grilling her with more and more trivia questions, teasing her about what she might win if she got all the questions right. “It made me funny in response to him,” she replied. They’re just as boring as the ones that you received.
She played along and pushed right back and they’ve already got a first date lined up. “He was so lively and engaging that I sort of had no choice but to come back with something equally witty and creative.” “So by him writing something playful and interesting to you, he actually brought out a more playful and interesting side of you? Wouldn’t it stand to reason that if you took the time to write something interesting and creative back to these guys, you might discover that they actually have a personality?
I asked this client what made this email exchange different from the other exchanges. I mean, from the majority of your emails, you sound really boring, too.
And yet this one guy with the trivia questions was able to bring out your playful side.” The moral of the story is that you are ALWAYS responsible for how you leave a conversation. By being optimistic, playful, interested and interesting, you can almost always transform any evening into a pleasant experience.
The problem is that we don’t; we expect the other person to do the heavy lifting – to make the plans, to ask the silly questions, to raise the playing field.We all want someone to set the tone and follow along, instead of realizing that we’re always setting the tone ourselves.I realize that I’ve gone on a bit of a tangent from your original question, Dwayne, but this is important.If your email dialogue is flagging, it’s not simply because she’s not interested in you – it’s because you haven’t captured her imagination.You haven’t created a compelling reason why she should write back to you over all others.And yet most of us get online and wonder why it always feels so stale.