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For us, we just went through the process of being together, until we gradually solidified into a team: Team Us, Team Weirdo, Team Let’s-Just-Stay-in-and-Watch-a-Movie.

When my husband finally announced our engagement, his friend famously said, ‘Congratulations on not being the stupidest person on Earth.’ The point is, even if it’s clear to everyone else in your life, sometimes it’s hard for you to just know.

Because it’s not so much a knowledge but a continuous process, choosing to share your life with someone, day after day.” — Jessica It was never a question.

“Unlike my previous relationships, I wasn’t haunted by deeper, nagging questions of whether or not I wanted to be with him.

Disagreements didn’t threaten to end in a breakup — it was always just assumed that we would keep going.

Dating my husband was the only time I never saw the period at the end of the sentence.” — Megan He made plans.

“My fiancé and I had been dating for a month when he told me, two weeks in advance, that he’d made reservations for Valentine’s Day. I’m definitely marrying this guy.’ ” — Ilene I couldn’t imagine my life without him.“In our twenties, after we’d been together for a couple of years, I considered whether we should take a Ross-and-Rachel-style ‘break’ so we could date other people and see who was out there. Not because I was getting bored — quite the opposite — but I was a little freaked out by the growing feeling I had that we might be together forever.The more I thought about it, I realized there was this choice: I could see other people, some of whom might be totally decent, and then go back to him, knowing with more certainty that he was the one OR I could see other people and never be able to get him back, because he could have moved on. The minute I gave those scenarios any thought, I knew I could never risk it.We’ve talked about dating, heartbreak and what to ask before you get married. “Maybe this is just semantics, but I say: Forget about ‘knowing.’ Perhaps some people experience that, but every time I thought I did, it turned out to be an illusion. The difference with my wife was having that ‘knowing’ feeling, but that was the one.But lately, I’ve been ruminating over one question even Google can’t answer: How do you know when a relationship is right? That would adapt to and incorporate us both changing.(Yes, I typed that into multiple search engines, yielding many lists, but not much help.) So I sought the counsel of committed friends (and some acquaintances, and a few strangers) and asked: HOW DID YOU KNOW? I feel like knowing who’s ‘the one’ is just as much a life choice as a love choice.” — Colby It felt inevitable. I am normally SO shy about talking to strangers, so I had my earbuds in and my face turned to the window and my work in my lap — a wall around me.

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