original online dating messages to girls - Zenofem online dating

It could be that appearing unsure makes the writer seem more vulnerable and less threatening. But either way: men should be careful not to let the appearance of vulnerability become the appearance of sweaty desperation: Mentioning your religion helps you, but, paradoxically, it helps you most if you have no religion.

After all, the way you choose to start your initial message to someone is the “first impression of your first impression.” The results surprised us: The top three most popular ways to say “hello” were all actually bad beginnings.

Even the slangy Obviously, all successful Ok Cupid relationships outgrow our in-site messaging feature.

But an offer to chat or of an email address right off the bat is a sure turn off.

One of the things online dating has going for it is its relative anonymity, and if you start chipping away at that too early, you’ll scare the other person off. ) that are all clearly referencing something important to the sender, the recipient, or, ideally, both.

Talking about specific things that interest you or that you might have in common with someone is a time-honored way to make a connection, and we have proof here that it works.

We’re presenting just a smattering: in fact every “niche” word that we have significant data on has a positive effect on messaging.

Even more effective are phrases that engage the reader’s own interests, or show you’ve read their profile: , no doubt because of its adverbial meaning of “to a fair degree; moderately” also helps male messages.

A lot of real-world dating advice tells men to be more confident, but apparently hemming and hawing a little works well online.

We analyzed over 500,000 first contacts on our dating site, Ok Cupid.

Our program looked at keywords and phrases, how they affected reply rates, and what trends were statistically significant.

The result: a set of rules for what you should and shouldn’t say when introducing yourself. Let’s go: are nice things to say to someone, but no one wants to hear them.

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